InFocus Magazine

The Teddies ‘n’ Toddlers Daycare is a lot like any other daycare in the Comox Valley. It’s got the usual accouterments of a facility geared to infants, cure
toddlers and young children.  There are indoor and outdoor toys, play areas, nap spaces, cubbyholes and coat pegs not much higher than an adult’s knee, and toilets and sinks that barely make it off the ground.  There is a recliner tucked in a quiet corner that can be used to quiet a distressed child or breastfeed.

The thing that makes this daycare different is it’s located on the grounds of G.P Vanier Secondary School, and its primary clients are teen parents.

“We are a young parent’s program,” says Cathy Bathos, program coordinator for the daycare.  “We exist to serve the needs of young parents in the Comox Valley.”  And in doing so, they are making a difference in the lives of teen parents and their children.

The facility got its start in the early 1990s when community members started a grassroots effort to give teen parents a place to go.

“It took a combination of young parents saying we needed this, and then the work of a dedicated group of people,” says Bathos.

One of those people was Jane Adams.  She was the head of public nursing at the time, and she took it upon herself to spearhead the effort.  Adams approached community members and teachers, and got the support necessary to launch the program.  Another was Penny Robinson, a member of the Comox Valley Children’s Daycare Society, who helped oversee the development of the young parents program.

The daycare opened its doors in 1993, with an official launch in the fall of that year. Fifteen young parents—mostly moms—enrolled in the program with their children.  The launch was a school affair.  The Construction class built the portable that housed the daycare, the high school newspaper The Breezeway gave news coverage to the opening and the issues facing young parents, and the daycare held an open house to familiarize students and teachers with the program.

From the start, the daycare was conceived as a one-stop shop for young parents, with the goal of helping them graduate from high school.  They had access to childcare, parenting programs, a public health nurse, outreach support, and teacher/counselors able to help them with class choices and scheduling.  It didn’t matter if that parent needed information on immunization, had a question about their baby’s development, needed help finding housing, or were looking for a ride to the food bank—they got the help they needed.

“The school piece is the corner stone,” says Bathos. “But to make that flow, they need the rest of the supports.”

The program still operates on the principle of a single-point of access.  “When a young parent comes into our program, they’re paired up with a caregiver,” explains Bathos, noting that this is the person who will provide care to their child while they are in class, and is a constant point of contact during their time in the program.  “They build a relationship, and once they have that relationship and trust with their caregiver, it’s like a home away from home for them.”

Another important part of the program is acknowledging that these are teen parents, and helping participants to be both teens and parents at the same time.

“We never forget that they’re teens,” says Bathos.  “Yes they’re young parents and yes they have responsibilities, but they are also teenagers.  They still need to be a teen and experience the social things of being a teen.

“I work really closely with each young parent, meeting their needs where they’re at,” she adds.

The approach seems to work.  The Teddies ‘n Toddlers daycare program has graduated 107 young parents since 1993.  Just as importantly, “We lose very few from the program because it’s a safe, trusting environment and non-judgmental and they need that,” says Penny Robinson, who joined the staff as a care provider in 1994.

That’s not to say young parents joining the program have an easy time of it.  “There is always all of that judgment for young parents,” says Bathos.  “That is the biggest battle.”

Indeed, raising the subject of teen sex, pregnancy and parenting in conversation is one way to start a heated discussion with just about anyone.  There are those who simply believe teenagers should not be having sex, let alone parent a child that is the result of that decision.  Then there are those who decry the state of sex education in our schools and communities.  Finally, there are those concerned that putting teen parents in schools will encourage other teens to become parents.

“That’s not the whole picture,” says Bathos.  Access to birth control, family origins, self-esteem and the desire to have a family of one’s own all play a role in teen pregnancy and the decision of teens to parent.  “If you talk to those that have had a tumultuous upbringing, having a baby has almost been a positive thing in their lives and they want to succeed for their family and their child.”

And that’s where the young parent’s program comes in.  “I think it’s important because we’re going to have young parents regardless, and the ability for them to complete their Grade 12 and move onto other things is really important,” says Bathos. “It’s a pretty rough road without that education behind it.

“It makes a huge difference in the outcome for young parents,” she adds.  “The research shows getting your education is such an important part of that.  Getting your Grade 12 is such a milestone for teenagers.  Once that happens, it opens up so many opportunities for them.”

Robinson agrees.  “I look back and see young parents as public health nurses, as early childhood educators, and as residential care workers,” says Robinson.  “They are productive members of society and they might not have had that chance otherwise.”

Current and past program participants certainly agree.  “It’s a second chance,” says Justina, a Grade 12 student in her second year of the program and mother to two-year-old Jonny.

“It’s helping me shape my future.  It’s given me time to figure out what I want to do, and how to create a positive environment for me so I can create a positive environment for him,” she says, adding that her plans are to become a registered nurse, with a specialization in emergency care.

Fellow Grade 12 student Alanna, mother to two-year-old Avery, agrees.  “If this daycare wasn’t here I wouldn’t be finishing high school,” she says simply.  “The stuff that you learn by trial and error, you can learn here without the error.  And if something goes wrong, I know there are other options.”

“I would feel pretty lousy if I had a baby and wasn’t doing something to better our lives,” adds Olivia, also in Grade 12 and mother to one-year-old Kato.

These are all statements Jenny Deters understands.  Deters is one of Teddies ‘n Toddlers first young parents, and the second to graduate from the program in 1995.

“It meant graduation and the chance to give my child a better life,” says Deters.  “Without a high school diploma I couldn’t have done anything.”

“I don’t know if I could have appreciated it at the time—teenagers don’t appreciate much,” she says.  “The fact I could still breastfeed my child and still go to school. The opportunity to amalgamate—I didn’t have to drop my son off at daycare and then get myself to school.  I didn’t have a drivers licence.  I didn’t have money.”

For Deters and her son, the program worked.  Deters is a successful professional and co-operator of Rattan Plus with her husband Todd.  Her son, Forrest, is a second-year scholarship student at McGill University and succeeding in every way.

“It all ripples down,” she says.  “I was able to get a better life for myself and for Forrest and maybe for his kids.”

While the program has proven to be a success, it doesn’t always turn out so well.  “Not everyone is successful coming out of the program,” says Deters.  “But look at it this way—when a teenager has a child and comes to this program, that child is being monitored. And the teenager is being taught to cook and manage their finances.

“A lot of people put their heads in the sand and think their kid is not going to have sex, they’re not going to drink,” continues Deters.  “You have to educate your kids and hope for the best.  Statistically, someone’s kid is going to get pregnant.”

It’s that perspective that Deters has recently brought to the Today ‘n’ Tomorrow Learning Society, the Board that now oversees the Teddies ‘n Toddlers daycare program, and its expansion program Little Friends for children ages three to five.  Little Friends allows young parents with children aged three and older to continue to have their children cared for on site.

“Before the Little Friends program, we had to get an exemption, or they had to leave,” says Bathos.  “And we’ve had several young parents that have decided to go on to post-secondary education and still need childcare come back because of the support and trust we’ve developed.”

This raises an important point about the daycare.  Teen pregnancy rates have been dropping for several years, and the young parent program is funded entirely by the Ministry of Children and Family Development.  The young parents themselves receive daycare subsidies.  In order to be financially viable, the decision was made a few years ago to open the program up to the wider community.

“Young parents have the priority,” says Bathos.  “The only criteria is they have to be attending school in School District 71.”  However, adding community has added diversity to the program, and created the opportunity to raise funds to improve both programs for young parents and community parents alike.  And that’s a message Deter wants to get out as a Board member.

“This program has gone all these years without asking for community support,” says Deters.  “It’s time to create community awareness.  This is another program unique to our community that nobody knows they need until the need it.  This is a chance for me to use my contacts and raise awareness about this much-needed program in our community.”  ¦

 

For more information about the  Today ‘n’ Tomorrow Learning society, the young parents’ program or community daycare space, call 250-338-8445 or email [email protected]

The Teddies ‘n’ Toddlers Daycare is a lot like any other daycare in the Comox Valley. It’s got the usual accouterments of a facility geared to infants, toddlers and young children.  There are indoor and outdoor toys, play areas, nap spaces, cubbyholes and coat pegs not much higher than an adult’s knee, and toilets and sinks that barely make it off the ground.  There is a recliner tucked in a quiet corner that can be used to quiet a distressed child or breastfeed.

The thing that makes this daycare different is it’s located on the grounds of G.P Vanier Secondary School, and its primary clients are teen parents.

“We are a young parent’s program,” says Cathy Bathos, program coordinator for the daycare.  “We exist to serve the needs of young parents in the Comox Valley.”  And in doing so, they are making a difference in the lives of teen parents and their children.

The facility got its start in the early 1990s when community members started a grassroots effort to give teen parents a place to go.

“It took a combination of young parents saying we needed this, and then the work of a dedicated group of people,” says Bathos.

One of those people was Jane Adams.  She was the head of public nursing at the time, and she took it upon herself to spearhead the effort.  Adams approached community members and teachers, and got the support necessary to launch the program.  Another was Penny Robinson, a member of the Comox Valley Children’s Daycare Society, who helped oversee the development of the young parents program.

The daycare opened its doors in 1993, with an official launch in the fall of that year. Fifteen young parents—mostly moms—enrolled in the program with their children.  The launch was a school affair.  The Construction class built the portable that housed the daycare, the high school newspaper The Breezeway gave news coverage to the opening and the issues facing young parents, and the daycare held an open house to familiarize students and teachers with the program.

From the start, the daycare was conceived as a one-stop shop for young parents, with the goal of helping them graduate from high school.  They had access to childcare, parenting programs, a public health nurse, outreach support, and teacher/counselors able to help them with class choices and scheduling.  It didn’t matter if that parent needed information on immunization, had a question about their baby’s development, needed help finding housing, or were looking for a ride to the food bank—they got the help they needed.

“The school piece is the corner stone,” says Bathos. “But to make that flow, they need the rest of the supports.”

The program still operates on the principle of a single-point of access.  “When a young parent comes into our program, they’re paired up with a caregiver,” explains Bathos, noting that this is the person who will provide care to their child while they are in class, and is a constant point of contact during their time in the program.  “They build a relationship, and once they have that relationship and trust with their caregiver, it’s like a home away from home for them.”

Another important part of the program is acknowledging that these are teen parents, and helping participants to be both teens and parents at the same time.

“We never forget that they’re teens,” says Bathos.  “Yes they’re young parents and yes they have responsibilities, but they are also teenagers.  They still need to be a teen and experience the social things of being a teen.

“I work really closely with each young parent, meeting their needs where they’re at,” she adds.

The approach seems to work.  The Teddies ‘n Toddlers daycare program has graduated 107 young parents since 1993.  Just as importantly, “We lose very few from the program because it’s a safe, trusting environment and non-judgmental and they need that,” says Penny Robinson, who joined the staff as a care provider in 1994.

That’s not to say young parents joining the program have an easy time of it.  “There is always all of that judgment for young parents,” says Bathos.  “That is the biggest battle.”

Indeed, raising the subject of teen sex, pregnancy and parenting in conversation is one way to start a heated discussion with just about anyone.  There are those who simply believe teenagers should not be having sex, let alone parent a child that is the result of that decision.  Then there are those who decry the state of sex education in our schools and communities.  Finally, there are those concerned that putting teen parents in schools will encourage other teens to become parents.

“That’s not the whole picture,” says Bathos.  Access to birth control, family origins, self-esteem and the desire to have a family of one’s own all play a role in teen pregnancy and the decision of teens to parent.  “If you talk to those that have had a tumultuous upbringing, having a baby has almost been a positive thing in their lives and they want to succeed for their family and their child.”

And that’s where the young parent’s program comes in.  “I think it’s important because we’re going to have young parents regardless, and the ability for them to complete their Grade 12 and move onto other things is really important,” says Bathos. “It’s a pretty rough road without that education behind it.

“It makes a huge difference in the outcome for young parents,” she adds.  “The research shows getting your education is such an important part of that.  Getting your Grade 12 is such a milestone for teenagers.  Once that happens, it opens up so many opportunities for them.”

Robinson agrees.  “I look back and see young parents as public health nurses, as early childhood educators, and as residential care workers,” says Robinson.  “They are productive members of society and they might not have had that chance otherwise.”

Current and past program participants certainly agree.  “It’s a second chance,” says Justina, a Grade 12 student in her second year of the program and mother to two-year-old Jonny.

“It’s helping me shape my future.  It’s given me time to figure out what I want to do, and how to create a positive environment for me so I can create a positive environment for him,” she says, adding that her plans are to become a registered nurse, with a specialization in emergency care.

Fellow Grade 12 student Alanna, mother to two-year-old Avery, agrees.  “If this daycare wasn’t here I wouldn’t be finishing high school,” she says simply.  “The stuff that you learn by trial and error, you can learn here without the error.  And if something goes wrong, I know there are other options.”

“I would feel pretty lousy if I had a baby and wasn’t doing something to better our lives,” adds Olivia, also in Grade 12 and mother to one-year-old Kato.

These are all statements Jenny Deters understands.  Deters is one of Teddies ‘n Toddlers first young parents, and the second to graduate from the program in 1995.

“It meant graduation and the chance to give my child a better life,” says Deters.  “Without a high school diploma I couldn’t have done anything.”

“I don’t know if I could have appreciated it at the time—teenagers don’t appreciate much,” she says.  “The fact I could still breastfeed my child and still go to school. The opportunity to amalgamate—I didn’t have to drop my son off at daycare and then get myself to school.  I didn’t have a drivers licence.  I didn’t have money.”

For Deters and her son, the program worked.  Deters is a successful professional and co-operator of Rattan Plus with her husband Todd.  Her son, Forrest, is a second-year scholarship student at McGill University and succeeding in every way.

“It all ripples down,” she says.  “I was able to get a better life for myself and for Forrest and maybe for his kids.”

While the program has proven to be a success, it doesn’t always turn out so well.  “Not everyone is successful coming out of the program,” says Deters.  “But look at it this way—when a teenager has a child and comes to this program, that child is being monitored. And the teenager is being taught to cook and manage their finances.

“A lot of people put their heads in the sand and think their kid is not going to have sex, they’re not going to drink,” continues Deters.  “You have to educate your kids and hope for the best.  Statistically, someone’s kid is going to get pregnant.”

It’s that perspective that Deters has recently brought to the Today ‘n’ Tomorrow Learning Society, the Board that now oversees the Teddies ‘n Toddlers daycare program, and its expansion program Little Friends for children ages three to five.  Little Friends allows young parents with children aged three and older to continue to have their children cared for on site.

“Before the Little Friends program, we had to get an exemption, or they had to leave,” says Bathos.  “And we’ve had several young parents that have decided to go on to post-secondary education and still need childcare come back because of the support and trust we’ve developed.”

This raises an important point about the daycare.  Teen pregnancy rates have been dropping for several years, and the young parent program is funded entirely by the Ministry of Children and Family Development.  The young parents themselves receive daycare subsidies.  In order to be financially viable, the decision was made a few years ago to open the program up to the wider community.

“Young parents have the priority,” says Bathos.  “The only criteria is they have to be attending school in School District 71.”  However, adding community has added diversity to the program, and created the opportunity to raise funds to improve both programs for young parents and community parents alike.  And that’s a message Deter wants to get out as a Board member.

“This program has gone all these years without asking for community support,” says Deters.  “It’s time to create community awareness.  This is another program unique to our community that nobody knows they need until the need it.  This is a chance for me to use my contacts and raise awareness about this much-needed program in our community.”  ¦

 

For more information about the  Today ‘n’ Tomorrow Learning society, the young parents’ program or community daycare space, call 250-338-8445 or email [email protected]

When most of us think about wigs, web
we think of dress-up, seek Halloween, and the sort of bright and gaudy things that help us become Morticia Addams and Captain Jack Sparrow for the day.  It’s fun, and we love to do it.

But what if you are a woman struggling with hair loss brought on by a medical condition like cancer or medication?  What if you are a man suffering from an autoimmune condition like alopecia, where you lose hair in patches on your head?

A wig is one tool available to help you cope with a serious, chronic or life-threatening condition.  Chances are, though, you don’t want to look like Captain Jack Sparrow or Morticia Addams doing it.  So where do you go?

In the Comox Valley, the answer is to wig-maker Heidi Elliot.  Elliot is the founder of About Hair, a wig-making business she started nearly 40 years ago in Nanaimo and now operates out of Tin Town in Courtenay.  Through her business, Elliot offers back to clients an important part of their self-expression in our image conscious society.

“Hair is important because that’s what you see first.  To lose it is devastating to a lot of women and men.  Even if you’re just losing a little,” says Elliot.  “I show them what’s available.  I do repairs, alterations, customizing, fitting.”

This isn’t to say Elliot started out with the goal of creating wigs for people with serious illness or medical conditions.  She got her start in theatre and opera in Germany, after completing hairdressing and wig training in her native country.

“It’s the most beautiful job I’ve ever had,” she says of her years backstage costuming and dressing actors and opera singers.  “That’s more of the creative work.”  She made the decision to immigrate to Canada in the ‘60s.

“I watched a documentary on Canada and I said to my parents, ‘That’s where I’m going’,” says Elliot. “My mother said, ‘No you’re not’ and I did.  It was easy then.  I had the training.  I had a job.  I had a sponsor in Toronto.”

Elliot continued to work in theatre in Toronto before making her way to Calgary and finally Nanaimo in 1975, when her husband found a teaching position in that school district.  She started About Hair and began offering personal wig-making services alongside her theatre work.  At the time, the majority of her clients were male.

“My men’s business used to be bigger than my women’s business,” says Elliot.  “They move from somewhere else and they were wearing a hair system and they continue to wear a hair system.”

Then it seemed the women’s cancer epidemic struck, along with the rise of serious health conditions like autoimmune disorders.  More and more of her clients were women seeking some way to get back their privacy and dignity in a difficult time of their lives. The unfortunate fact is while we as a culture are used to seeing male-pattern baldness, hair loss in women can lead to invasive and embarrassing questions and stares or looks that are extremely uncomfortable.

“Now it seems more necessary to have hair replacement,” says Elliot.  “Most women have no idea what’s available.”  Her shop stocks a range of partial and full wigs able to cover everything from bald patches caused by alopecia to complete baldness caused by chemotherapy.

The variety is stunning—long wigs, short wigs, and every color of natural hair.  There is both synthetic and natural hair, machine-made and hand-tied.  Perched up high is a men’s long hair and beard set that Elliot refers to as the “John Lennon” and could be used by anyone looking to experiment with facial hair.  And each one has a name, like “Top Secrets.”

There is also a range of full and partial wigs.  The partial wigs are an act of creative genius—think of a patch say eight inches long and two inches wide that clips to a client’s remaining hair and covers any bald spots.  A fringe wig (which is just like it sounds, a fringe) is worn underneath a hat, and gives the illusion of hair without the weight or warmth of a full wig. They’re wonderful options for clients wanting to spend time poolside, on the beach, or cruising.

Finally, improvements in the manufacturing process means clients no longer need to choose between price and quality.  Hand-tied and human hair is still more expensive, but that’s often the most obvious difference between a hand-made and a manufactured wig.

“They’re all so beautiful now,” says Elliot.  “They’re more natural than ever.  The colors are beautiful, with highlights and low lights.”  In fact, Elliot often recommends starting with synthetic wigs because of their affordability.  Prices start at $45 for a synthetic partial and $165 for a full wig.

A big part of Elliot’s job is working with her clients to figure out what wig is right for them.

“When you put it on a person, if it looks like a wig, it’s the wrong choice,” says Elliot.

Then there is the matter of personal preference.  “Sometimes they don’t know what they’re looking for.  Other times they bring a picture and we go from there,” she says. “Some make quick decisions, others take so long.”

Once the client has made a choice, Elliot is able to make any alterations that are necessary.  Think of it like tailoring—the underside of the wig (or foundation) is adjusted until it fits and the hairline is matched to the client’s natural hairline.  Then Elliot washes, cuts (if necessary) and styles the hair on the wig.

The result is a life-like look that gives men and women their hair and self-confidence back.

“Somebody walking out of here with a smile,” says Elliot, describing the best aspect of her job.  “The first sign is they walk out of here feeling better about themselves.  It’s lovely.  I put something on somebody and they smile.”

The work, though, can be emotionally challenging.

“Some of the clients go into details about their condition, and that can be hard,” Elliot says.  “At the end of the day, I feel it, especially recurring cancer.  If I can concentrate on just the hair…”  She pauses before saying with a small laugh, “I don’t think I would make it as a nurse.”

There is, however, a lighter side to Elliot’s business and one that she is just as proud of as the work she does with hair loss clients.

“Wigs are for many reasons,” she says.  “Fashion, fun, letting your hair grow out, not showing roots.

“In Germany, we do not call them wigs,” she continues.  “We call them our second look.”

A good portion of Elliot’s business comes from professional men and women who need to look their best at a moment’s notice.  Think of performers who are travelling from venue to venue on a regular basis and may not have the opportunity to get their hair styled and cut when it needs to be done.  Or think of real estate agent types who need to be able to respond to client calls at all hours of the day, often on little notice.

“If they’re busy, they’re professionals, it makes their life easier,” says Elliot.  “It’s just the convenience of having something.  They just want to look good.  They call them lifesavers.”  Or—in the case of husbands now happy that their wives are spending less time in the bathroom—relationship savers.

“They’re using more famous people to say it’s okay to wear a wig and call it your second look,” adds Elliot, noting that Raquel Welch has her own line of wigs.  She picks up a catalogue—each page of features Welch in different styles, taking the actress from sexy long locks to short and sophisticated cropped cuts.  Every style looks amazing, and is a testament to the flexibility and functionality of wigs.

And that really is the heart of Elliot’s work—making people look and feel good.

“Hair does so much to a person’s looks,” explains Elliot.  “A wig can improve your appearance, or the way you feel about yourself or how you present yourself.  My clients in the retirement homes—they put on a wig and they go in the dining room and they look good.”

It’s something Elliot understands personally.  “I lost my hair through stress a few years ago,” says Elliot.  “Most of it came back.  I still wear a partial.”  It’s impossible to tell her hair from the hair of the wig.

The quality of Elliot’s work comes as much from her skills and experience, as it does her commitment to her craft.  Despite her many years in the industry, she makes a point of finding opportunities for continuing education and upgrading that help keep her abreast of advancements in her industry.  It’s enough to make one wonder if she has any intention of retiring.

“Right now I wouldn’t know what to do otherwise,” says Elliot.  “And I want to keep doing this because it’s getting better and better.”   She would eventually like to find someone to take over her business, though.

“The business is there,” she says. “You just have to have the passion and the compassion to do the work.”

About Hair is located at #105-2456 Rosewall Crescent, Courtenay (Tin Town).  They are open Tuesday,Wednesday and Friday from 10am-4pm and Saturdays from 10am-2pm.  For more information, call 250-897-0484 or toll free at 1-866-755-3007.