Trained Senior Peer Counsellors like Christine (right) are here to help support local seniors like Betty.
Photo by Boomer Jerritt
Christmas is a joyous and cherished family and friends time of elation and celebration as folk gather together to share gifts, a fine meal and a sense of bonhomie.
Or so we are led to believe. Unfortunately, for some it is a time of isolation and loneliness in which the glittering profusion of festivities only punctuates the sadness of those who are not part of all the glitz. And in no demographic is this isolation felt more profoundly than with some members of our seniors’ population.
It’s in dealing with the wants and needs of this element of society that Comox Valley Senior Peer Counselling (CVSPC) comes into the mix and works diligently to bring some deserved Christmas cheer to the lives of such residents of our community.
“The older you get, losses occur,” says Colleen Malek, chair of Senior Peer Counselling. “For many years of our lives we have our supports, but then people move away; our friends age, and some of them pass on. What do you turn to? It’s reality. But, whom do you turn to when these life events happen? Some people end up at a loss and they isolate.”
CVSPC was founded in 1992 as a non-profit society designed to help Valley seniors in overcoming such challenges in life as bereavement, isolation, illness, multiple losses and depression.
With CVSPC, confidential services are provided by trained, compassionate volunteers who are themselves past the age of 50. The goal of these volunteers is to develop a relationship of trust with the client in which they provide non-judgmental emotional support in order to promote wellness and reduce social isolation.
CVSPC programs include the Visitors program, which provides weekly social visits to lonely housebound seniors, Group Outings for isolated seniors unable to drive, and Caregiver Support Groups, which meet each month for support, education and social contact. One group is specifically designed for Alzheimer’s and Dementia caregivers.
As well they offer respite care, where trained volunteers provide a few hours relief per week to caregivers of seniors with Alzheimer’s or dementia and individual counseling, where trained volunteers again provide guidance, support and encouragement to seniors facing challenges in their lives. This is not professional counseling, nor does it replace it.
As far as gender disparities are concerned at this stage of life, Malek says that women are usually better off than men in terms of relationships in later life, and this often results in men being left in the lurch, in the case of couples, if the wife predeceases the husband.
“Women make the social arrangements for the most part, and they have done so for decades throughout the marriage” she says. “So if the woman dies first the grieving husbands have never really learned how to reach out. They (the widowers) too often end up turning inward and isolating.”
A very poignant time in this regard is the Yuletide season. And in that context the CVSPC attempts to bring some light to what should be a joyous season, but is often a huge challenge for seniors—much as it often is for other groups in society.
As far as Christmas is concerned CVSPC arranges outings and various other programs with a seasonal flavor. They take members out to look at Christmas lights and to hear the children’s choir. Christmas, Malek says, is a time many people find difficult—not just seniors. But, in the case of seniors the problems can be exacerbated by age and loneliness.
“We try to offer a number of seasonal things,” she says. “And, as we’re a non-profit much of what we’re able to do depends on the money available. But it doesn’t need to be elaborate in order to address the need in somebody. Sometimes it takes something just as simple as a phone call. Sometimes the person just needs someone to speak to in order to get them thinking in a different way.”
The problem with Christmas, she says, is that there is a huge emotional buildup leading to the day, and then when the 25th arrives, everything closes down and for those who are isolated, this only punctuates their aloneness.
That said, clients of CVSPC can anticipate a special Christmas dinner, albeit not on Christmas Day, and they are booked to hear the Children’s Choir, as well as other seasonal offerings.
And the volunteers are also remembered at Christmas for their tireless efforts. For them there will be a special luncheon at Crown Isle held in the Christmas season, and for which Crown Isle pays half the cost in recognition of the work that the volunteers do in the community.
The volunteers in CVSPC (whom Malek cites as “wonderful”) regularly do extra for their clients at Christmastime. At the same time, they are ever-vigilant in not encouraging dependency on the part of a client. Indeed, the discouragement of dependency is a basic credo of the organization in all their dealings.
“Individual peer support is offered,” she says. “This is designed to show means of enhancing quality of life, with the idea being that ‘you’ (the client) can change what you do with what is left for you. Ultimately the client is encouraged to move in the direction of being empowered to take action. The goal is to encourage independence and to not have the volunteer peer counsellor in effect ‘stuck with’ a client. We try to encourage the attitude that life is a journey not of losses but of change, and acceptance of new realities allows change to take place.”
Of course there are complications in their dealings with seniors, Malek readily concedes. “There are some clients on the road to dementia and they won’t get better,” she says. “I had one client who went that route and I simply carried on as an advocate for her even after she moved into a facility. She seemed to value the tie because she had nobody else.”
While some clients continue to live fulfilling lives well into their 90s, others deteriorate at an earlier stage. In those cases they are sometimes victims of their genetics, but Malek also firmly believes that attitude plays a major role and volunteer counsellors work diligently to encourage attitude shifts.
“We work to empower,” she says. “We want to encourage the client to realize that hey, I can do these things. I don’t need to depend on somebody else to do them for me.”
Malek believes the function of what they do is invaluable in the community and is becoming increasingly vital as the population of the community ages. She regards the organization is being an aspect of overall health care.
“I’ll give you an example of a reality for an older person,” she says. “The older person, due to age, loses a driver’s licence. He or she is left looking at four walls, with little ability to get out and about. With no outside stimulus they end up getting depressed. This costs the health care system. Yet, just one outing a week can make a huge difference to that person’s quality of life.”
So, the role of the peer counselor is to have the client realize that even though a change has taken place—the loss of the ability to drive and being left having to rely either on friends or public transit—life can still go on at a quality level. Adjustments must be made and the counselor must diligently move the client away from turning inward and isolating.
So, outings are set up. Outings to see Christmas-themed events like the ones mentioned, or outings for shopping.
Meanwhile, Malek is unstinting in her praises for the dynamic and dedicated nature of the CVSPC board through the years. It has consistently been the glue that has held it all together.
“Without the board there would simply be no society,” she says. “But, we need people to assume board positions. We have voids that must be filled if we are to continue as we have been. We’re looking forward to a new chair and the board definitely needs new blood.”
In that regard Malek, as current chair, notes that she is planning on stepping down as chair, having served the organization for many years.
“The society is rebuilding from the ground up,” she says. “It’s an exciting time. With change comes growth.”
For more information about Senior Peer Counselling, and especially if you are interested in volunteering, please contact them at 250-890-0099, or www.cvspc.wordpress.com